Like a fog.............

I felt like I was in a fog this afternoon. I went to the mall to try on swimsuits and didn't have any luck and on the way home the fog started. I'm still in it at 10pm tonight. I litterally feel like I'm in a fog. I think I'm getting angry/depressed about my situation. I'm doing the best to do what I need to and I know you're all tired of hearing about it. But honestly my situation is tough and if my blog is the only place I can talk about it then that's what I have to do.....talk.....about....it!  Today is cd43. Yes, 43. :(  I should be halfway through my next cycle. And yes since late December I've only been able to try and get pregnant 1 month. That would be 5 months and only 1 month of trying, actually BDing to try and get pregnant. IT SUCKS! And it can really do a number on someone. In this story, that someone is me. Most people cannot relate to that....most people have never waited 5 months to TTC 1 time. Most people try month after month until they are pregnant....but what about the people like me that have to sit and sit and sit waiting for the chance to try......most people cannot relate to that, unless your PCOS or had a late MC or stillbirth you cannot relate. I don't wish this on anyone but it's so isolating. IF is isolating and this path I'm on right now is super tough. I'm so tired of waiting and it's got me almost in a frozen state. I don't feel like running or power walking and I feel tired a lot. I do the best I can but I'm not happy with work and I'm just not feeling like myself especially exercise wise. Joining a pool was a great change for us and we went this weekend. It was so fun for us and V. That's been a nice change and we have our fun week long beach trip coming up. Those will be super fun things for us in the near future and distractions will be good. Anyway, I don't really know where else to go with this blog post tonight.....I just thought that writing would help me get some feelings out.

Kitty